You Thought Chicago Traffic Was Bad? Try Bangkok!

Whenever my friend Jessica and I would ask Smith how long it was going to take us from point A to point B in Bangkok and elsewhere in Thailand he would give us the following response, "Anywhere from 15 minutes to two hours, depending on traffic." Wow, now that's a big range! I thought he was exaggerating simply to discourage us from coming up with yet another impractical idea that began something like: "How about if we..." Soon enough, however, I realized he was actually telling us the truth.

When I say traffic is brutal in Bangkok, I mean it really IS brutal. There are many choices for transportation when you're a tourist and I guess the fastest option is a moto-taxi. We saw plenty of people old and young get rides on those taxi motorcycles. They were zooming through the city with no trace of fear on their face. I could not be dragged by force onto one of those. I saw the way they were weaving through traffic along with hundreds of other scooters and motorcycles and I had not one single particle in me interested in participating in this survival of the luckiest.

Another note that needs to be made about seeking rides in Thailand is that the idea of carpooling is taken to a whole other level. I've seen entire families, including the dog, ride on a single motorcycle on our road trip in Costa Rica, but at least there, it wasn't taking place during rush hour and with other riders practically breathing down your back. In Bangkok, on the other hand, you had the baby in the front, either standing or seated, the father as the driver and the mom seated sideways in the back all on one motorcycle and, to top it off, in the middle of a crazily congested street.

Our preferred form of transportation were tuk-tuk's or passenger-adapted motorcycles that made plenty of noise while producing heavy exhaust fumes, but amounted for an interesting experience, were cost efficient and granted great people watching opportunities so we made use of them whenever possible. We even made a historic entrance as we pulled up to our fancy Shangi-La Hotel in Chiang Mai (Smith's surprise for us) in a loud tuk-tuk. Needless to say, no one came out to ask if we needed help with our luggage, which was kind of hilarious and we certainly had a good laugh over that one.

The view of from the Executive Lounge of our hotel, compliments of Smith. Yes, we were quite spoiled in Chiang Mai.

One final note on the topic of traffic though. Our last night in Bangkok and Thailand, Jessica and I decided to venture out into the unknown in search of the Harley Davidson store. Well, we got so inspired... Naaah, we weren't going to buy a Harley in Thailand (!) or anywhere really, but we did want to get our dads nice souvenirs in the form of a Harley Davidson t-shirt that also happened to say Bangkok, Thailand. Well, Jessica wanted it as her dad does own Harleys and I wanted it too as my dad has always dreamed of owning one. We were pretty exhausted, but we finally made our way out of the condo and fetched a cab. We had a picture of the map on Jess's phone together with the address and a picture of the store itself. The driver seemed content with the material we supplied and he began driving. Well, not really. We basically just got ourselves stuck in traffic. It took about an hour to traverse a distance that earlier that day took about 10 minutes. Again, Smith was right. That, however, was just the beginning. Once we were moving, we started passing through areas we had never seen before, some of them really nice, others not quite as pleasant.

For some reason we didn't take any pictures of the Harley store, we were so flustered about the ride and focused on getting the shirts. This picture was taken right after the event at a restaurant that the Harley employee recommended to us. We happened to love the place and spent another two hours eating and having great wine.

Several times along the way we thought we were close, but then the driver took another turn and then another turn. We had no idea where we were. The streets are all marked, but they're mostly in Thai. The driver spoke not a word of English. We began worrying. I'm not one to have negative thoughts when things don't go as planned even in foreign countries, but I was not sure how this was going to play out. Fortunately, after a few u-turns and stops to ask for help, we arrived at the store, hidden in a dark side street, some four minutes before it closed. The entire trip took almost two hours and, thanks to the fact that this was Thailand, it cost us no more than 250 baht, a heaping $8.26! All the while we sat there worrying, we could have just relaxed and been grateful for the "accidental" 2-hour tour of Bangkok for some $4/person.